


Hakuna Matata (Or The Art Of  Time Lord Maintenance)

by yumimum



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Double Penetration, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Multi, Oral Sex, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 05:33:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1807174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yumimum/pseuds/yumimum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’d been an anxious three weeks since their reunion—dark, uncertain days spent steeped in redefined boundaries and more cold showers than the trio would care to mention. That they’d refrained until now had been an act of necessity, but with their actions growing desperate as they sought the perfect angle, it soon became apparent that they couldn’t—wouldn’t—wait a minute longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hakuna Matata (Or The Art Of  Time Lord Maintenance)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the fantastic Kelkat9 for the extra pair of eyes.

“I can feel your heart beat,” the Time Lord whispered, ghosting a kiss to the side of her neck. “You can feel it too, can’t you, Rose Tyler? That slight rise in blood pressure? The way your pulse quickens at my touch? And the _smell_...” His entire body shuddered. “Do you know what you smell like, Rose?”

Mutely, she shook her head.

“You smell like honey,” murmured the other, his arm tight around her waist. “Honey, and time, and...” The Tardis lights flickered. “...pheromones.”

“Pheromones?”

“Oh yes,” her original Doctor said, his words falling like rain over her parched skin. “All those lovely hormones just bubbling away beneath the surface—all those clever chemicals. The desire. The lust. The _need._ It’s like a beacon, Rose—calling me home. But that scent... _Oh_ , that scent...”

“Doctor...”

“It’s addictive,” continued his twin, fingers bunching the cotton of her dress. “You can’t feel it, not like we can, but the vortex—those stubborn remnants of the Bad Wolf are surging through your veins, Rose Tyler—Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you planned this from the start.”

“You reckon so, huh?

“Mmmhmm...”

“Cause from where I’m standing—”

“Lying, Rose, lying. Just look at this fancy bed the TARDIS so thoughtfully provided.”

“ _Right...”_ she said, trying not to whimper at their gentle caress. “You might’ve mentioned your ship’s got a kinky streak.”

“Is that a problem?” her newest Doctor asked.

“Course not,” she replied, palming the front of his trousers. “Though I bet you a fiver it’s not just my _heart_ that’s fit to burst, is it?”

“Oi!”

The Time Lord snickered. “Humans.”

“ _Part_ -human,” his twin replied, looking every inch as if they’d slapped him—either that or they’d maligned his hair. “Millennia of experience, here, Rose Tyler. I think we can assume I’m not about to pop like some 21st century firework.”

“And here I thought we were heading for a bang?”

“Rose!” His Adam’s apple bobbed dramatically. “How many times must I tell you, eh? I’m a complicated man of time and space, not some hormone-driven teenager.”

“It's all part and parcel of the metacrisis gig,” murmured the Time Lord behind her. “Handsome. Witty.”

“ _Phenomenal_ cosmic powers!” the other said wisely. “Itty-bitty living— _wait..._ ”

The blonde buried her face in her second Doctor’s jacket. “That’s _Aladdin_.”

“Only fitting,” the Time Lord chuckled as her brows perked in interest. “Superior mind, aside, he is half ape, now.”

“And what does that make you?” she teased, nudging him with her elbow. “A monkey’s uncle?”

“You really want to go there?”

“It’ll keep,” she decided, as warm lips drifted over her shoulder. “Besides, I should’ve known you two could take foreplay to a whole new level.”

“Cheeky.”

“ ‘s true.”

“No arguments here,” whispered the other. “Telepathy’s a beautiful thing, Rose Tyler. And all the thoughts crowding his head—all the things he wants to do to you... _Ooh_!” His eyes darted to her mouth. “To _us_?” he continued. “Well, that’s just—”

“Rude?” The Time Lord glowered.

“ _Filthy_ ,” his twin replied, earning a moan from their bed-mate as his teeth grazed her collarbone. “Deliciously filthy... I think I like it.”

“ _You_ would.”

“Of course I would. I’m you.”

 “Exactly.”

The pair launched into a pseudo staring match, and Rose flopped to the mattress as she pondered the insanity of her life. “This is ridiculous,” she murmured, when a full minute lapsed in silence. “Honestly! How do you expect this to work?”

“Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a Time Lord, Rose Tyler.”

“And you, my dear, are in the hands of two,” her second Doctor promised, tracing the underside of her wrist. “All we’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy, Rose.”

“Even when our actions seemed somewhat...”

“ _Moronic?”_ The blonde folded her arms as the Time Lord cringed in turn.

“I was going to say contentious.”

“You were _going_ to send us away,” she said, angling her body towards him. “Look, I know that you apologised, yeah? But what if it happens again? What if things get too _domestic_ and—”

“Rose...”

“Please,” she begged, stalling the other with a hand to his bicep. “Just tell me what you were thinking.”

“I’m not so sure I was.” The words were so low she barely heard them, and the Doctor exhaled a shaky breath as she twisted in his embrace. “I meant what I said, you know? About making you happy? ‘Course I also wanted to keep you safe—give you the life you deserve. Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive it seems, and I wanted... _Ohh..._ many things, Rose Tyler... Human-y things. Impossible things. Things I couldn’t _have_ because the Time Lines were in flux, and Davros—”

“—was a _nutter!_ ”

“I know,” he said, sweeping his thumb over her jaw. “But he wasn’t just _any_ nutter, was he? He was a clever nutter—a manipulative _... well,_ I’d call him a genius, but we were in the room. Still, the walls between realities were closing fast—too fast.” He chuckled humourlessly. ”How’s that for irony? A Time Lord running out of time... you’d think I’d have learned my lesson.”

“Doctor—“

“No more,” he stated with conviction. “This is your home, Rose—our home—the three of us, and from the moment we stepped foot on that beach I knew. How could I ever let you go, eh? Knowing that I’d failed you? That I’d lost you? _Again_. And even worse, to myself? Oh, no...” The Time Lord clicked his tongue. “Seconds, Rose, that’s how long it took for the truth to hit me square in my thickety-thick face—and I mean that _literally_ , thanks to your mother. But I want to do this properly. I want to do better—I want to _be_ better, I...“ Pausing, he tangled his legs with hers. “Please,” he continued hoarsely. “Please, don’t doubt my sincerity. Or my feelings. Because those feelings, Rose, they’re... well, they’re...”

The other man sighed. “You still can’t say it, can you?”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t feel it,” he replied, deliberately catching his eye. “But words have power—you know that as well as I. Especially those words—and especially for Time Lords... never mind that we’re the last in existence.”

“It’s ingrained from the loom,” the metacrisis explained, his tone loaded with condemnation. “Our entire society was groomed to remain detached. Casual observers, the Council told us—the evolutionary standard.”

“Matches were political. Emotions were shunned. And this...” The Doctor’s gaze darkened. “What we're doing—what we’re about to do… Not that I'm assuming, of course, ‘cause if you're not… if you don't… then that's…"

“Doctor?” Rose swallowed hard as he ducked his head in shame. “You know I’ve never needed that romantic stuff,” she said, rolling to her stomach. “I mean, flowers and candles are alright, yeah? But _I know_ —I’ve always known... and I’m not expecting a couple of Casanovas, here.”

“Just as well,” the other replied, stealing a kiss from her lips. “We’re fresh out of chickens... Not that we actually _need_ the poultry,” he hastened to add. “It all comes down to practise, really, and what better teacher than you, Rose Tyler?”

“Just ask the Barcelonans,” the Time Lord said proudly. “Talk about new tricks—you had those dogs jumping hoops like no one’s business. Made it to the Anti-Grav Olympics, they did—placed first with the motorbike.”

The other man frowned. “I thought that was a giraffe?”

“Genetic engineering. What can you do, eh?”

“ _Right...”_ Rose licked her lips as she watched them in bemusement. “Where were we?”

“Dogs?”

“Tricks?”

“Idiots...” she murmured, poking them in the ribs. “I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“Oh yes!” The Time Lord cupped her cheek.  “But for what it’s worth, Rose, we’re _your_ idiots.”

“And trust me,” his counterpart began. “I’d make some joke about tossing us a bone, but if Donna found out she’d slap us.”

“ _Twice_.”

“And again for good measure.”

Now of _that,_ she had no doubt. Nevertheless, the Doctor’s hang-up’s were incumbent to them taking this step, and removing those walls was like tackling the high beam—exhilarating in theory, precarious in execution—and unlike her seven year old self, _this_ Rose had zero intention of settling for the bronze.

“Promise this isn’t a dream,” she whispered, and that simple turn of phrase—tame by all other comparisons—brought a rumbling growl from the man beside her.

“Have you been dreaming about us, Rose Tyler?” the Time Lord asked, one palm skirting the base of her spine. “What naughty thoughts have you been harbouring in that head of yours, eh?”

“How long have you got?”

“As long as you need,” her first Doctor told her sincerely. “Believe me, Rose, for this, we’re all ears.”

“ _Well..._ maybe not _all_ ears. “ The other sent her a wink. “That’d be the _last_ -last me. Still, first things first, Rose Tyler.” His face grew serious. “Were there... _bananas_?”

Their companion blinked. Hard. “Bananas?”

“Good source of potassium,” the Time Lord declared as she smiled at the erstwhile memory. “What about jam? Jelly Babies? The Rappleberry sundaes they sell on Galaxis-Bright? By all means, Rose, stop me if I tickle your fancy—”

“—unless you’d rather we tickle something else?”

A pooling heat settled in her belly, and Rose laughed outright as they wriggled their fingers in the air. “Please tell me you’re joking?”

“ _Nope_.”

“Your fantasies involve me and ice cream?” she asked.

“Our fantasies involve you and all manner of things,” the Time Lord said, a torrid smirk gracing his lips. “My ninth self liked the baked beans.”

“But not the toast,” his twin explained gravely. “Too many crumbs.”

And just like that, a wondrous clarity swept through her—as if the golden threads of time itself had converged upon this moment, answering her questions then banishing her doubts in its wake. This was where she belonged— _this_ was how it should be—and Rose’s body hummed in contentment at the wealth of emotion that followed.

“This is it, yeah?”

“This is it,” her first Doctor replied, his grin so infectious that she immediately answered in kind. “This is _us_ , Rose. No more looking back—”

“—no more wasting time.”

“And we’re done dancing around this?” she asked, a little short of breath.

The other adjusted his collar. “Oh, I wouldn’t say _that,”_ he murmured, jostling her with his knee. “’Cause honestly, Rose Tyler? I’m predicting a fair bit of _dancing_ in general. Might not be a waltz or the bolero, but I dare say we can master the three-step without much hassle. Remember Dumfries?”

As if she could forget. “You got a kilt in the wardrobe room, Doctor?”

“Oh, several,” the Time Lord said, tugging on his ear. “Providing you’re not averse to knobbly knees... You’re not, are you? _Nah_.” He dismissed it offhand. “Of course you’re not. You’re brilliant, you. And this? This’ll be brilliant too. Better than brilliant, in fact. Not that I mean to brag—you know me, Rose, I’m a herald of humility—”

“—but still,” the other continued, weaving small circles on her thigh. “I’ve never been one to turn down an adventure, and we’ll be pioneers! Trailblazers! Boldly going where no Time Lord variations have gone be—” Said variation froze. “Well...” he drawled, somewhat horrified. “Isn’t that _wizard?”_

His twin looked like he’d swallowed a pear. “You’re a _Trekkie?”_

“Blame Donna!”

Then long overdue some _Spock,_ herself, Rose decided to banish his pout as she closed the gap between them. Actions spoke louder than words anyway, and slipping her hand to the newest Doctor’s neck she captured his lips with the barest hint of her own.

The simple gesture was thrilling in its newness, yet despite their earlier intimacy they took the time to explore each other gently—barely-there flicks of the tongue eliciting drawn out whimpers until they were moaning, trembling, _aching_ with the want for more.     

“Oh god...” The blonde whimpered audibly when a solid weight pressed against her back. “Doctor, please...” And with her abused lungs already screaming, Rose was helpless to stifle a cry as she was wrapped in the Time Lord’s arms—a crimson blush fanning her cheeks when he turned her towards him.

“Tell us,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Tell us what you want, Rose—”

“—tell us what you need.”

“I... I...” The blonde’s gaze flickered when she inhaled their spicy scent. “You...”

“Me?”

“Both of you,” she whispered, the words ripped from her throat as that final wall came crashing down around them. “My Doctors...”

“Our Rose.”

“You’ve got us,” the metacrisis murmured into her neck. ”We’re yours.” The scratch of their suits was such sweet torture, but in a moment of quietude the two men came together, enfolding her in a hug that sent a shrill gasp clamouring for release. “You’ve given us a future we didn’t dare hope for, Rose Tyler. You saved us—”

“—no more than you saved me.”

“And you never gave up, did you?” The Time Lord’s grip tightened. “Despite everything we’ve been through—the ups, the downs, the moments of blinding ineptitude that shall henceforth go unmentioned...”

“Doctor?”

“You found me—”

“—you defied the impossible,” her newest Doctor told her. “It’s been a long and winding, road, Rose Tyler— _well,_ that’s what he told _The Beatles_ at any rate... but now you’re back—brilliantly, _impossibly_ , back... and these last few weeks have been...” Hesitant, he swallowed thickly. “We’ve imagined this too, you know? All those lonely nights—“

“—not that the Tardis actually _has_ nights, you understand—not in the _technical_ sense, anyway. But I’ll tell you what we do have.”

His counterpart preened. “We have a list!”

“A list?” she asked, her mind wandering in countless directions.

“Oh, yes!” Both men were the picture of innocence. “Long as a Slitheen’s arm, it is. “

Edited and alphabetized—Right. Up. Here.” The Time Lord tapped his temple. “And trust me, _that_ was a learning curve for us— _ohh_...”

Quick as a flash, they both fell silent. “Now, now,” she murmured, her fingers having tunnelled through their hair. “Turnabout’s fair play, yeah? And if we’re talking lists then the first thing on mine is—” Rose stopped short as her nails raked their scalps. “Did you just _purr_?”

“Absolutely not,” her first Doctor denied, wincing at his unbecoming squeak. “Time Lords are _far_ too manly for that, Rose. We’re grunters—cursers. We fly by the seat of our manly pin-striped pants and, uh...”

“Purr like a house cat?”

His twin kissed her forehead. “I’m really more of a stray.”

“We _both_ are,” the Doctor said, shooting him a _look_ that brokered no argument. “Still, if you ever want to scratch our bellies—”

“—feed us little treats.”

“Fit you with a collar?” Rose suggested, as they nuzzled the straps of her dress.  “Ooh! How ‘bout a leash?” she teased. “Jeopardy friendly, you two are—might keep you from wandering off.”

“Not unless it’s deadlocked,” her newest Doctor chuckled. “Though the things I’ve heard from Jack...”

“Kinky...”

“See, there’s the thing,” the Time Lord said, his palm now resting on her stomach _.”_ This body has a... well, not a habit, exactly, but a tendency? Liability? Yes! A liability for being the kiss-ee rather than the kiss-er. And beyond that? _Well.._ I just don't know. I _literally_ do not know. How will I like it?” he asked her. “What will I want? Me on top? You on top? And him?” He sent the other a wink. “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it, eh? Still—Fast? Slow? Rough? Tender? What? Am I vocal? A breather? A screamer? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a— _mmmpf_ —”

Thirty seconds later Rose released him from the kiss. “Forget the list,” she murmured, looking both smug and amused. “That sounds more like a catalogue.”

“Better clear your schedule,” the other man told her. “There’ll be no more running tonight, Rose Tyler—“

“—probably not tomorrow, either.”

“Promises promises,” she said.

“They are indeed,” the metacrisis murmured, and with the way his gaze was trained upon her mouth, Rose was left with the distinct impression that he was actually keeping score. “You sure you can keep up, mate?”

The Time Lord scoffed. “Are you suggesting I’ll pull a muscle?”

“Or damage a hip,” her second Doctor replied, instantly proving her theory. “Still, everyone loves a nickname. How do you feel to The Oncoming Dislocation?”

“Better _that_ than the _premature_ —”

“Oh my God!” The blonde threw up her hands before the bickering could go any further. “You’re the same man, remember?”

“Oh, I remember,” the Time Lord began, mapping her curves through the thin layer of Pertruvian cotton. “Same man, same software, different shoddy casing, Forget that fiver, Rose Tyler. Ten quid says _he’ll_ be sweating like a Jagrafess by the time we’re done. Then we’ll see who’s got the _superior anatomy_ , eh?”

“Bollocks.”

“Precisely!”

They each earned a glare for their sheer ridiculousness. “Correct me if I’m wrong,” she said, enunciating each word as if they’d dribbled on their shirts. “But wouldn’t that be a bit more convincing if _your_ superior anatomy wasn’t poking me in the leg?”

The Time Lord licked his lips. “Would you prefer I poked it elsewhere?”

_“Doctor!”_

“Yes?” they answered in stereo, and Rose cursed her traitorous body as she rubbed her thighs together in a futile bid for friction. Already, her nerve endings were on fire—her entire focus honed to the pebbling of her nipples, the press of their erections, and the heady mood of expectation that filled the air around them. Six years it had taken to finally reach this moment, and Time Lord or otherwise, she’d be damned if she let them seize control.

“What’s the matter, Rose Tyler?” her first Doctor asked, savouring her name like the finest chocolate. _“Cat_ got your tongue?”

Oh, and now she was irritated. Even better.

“You think you’re so impressive.”

“We are so impress—Oi!”  Both men scowled as she scrambled from between them. “Rose, what’re you—“

“Strip,” she demanded, shoving the jacket from her newest Doctor’s shoulders. “You too, Time Lord.”

With a jaunty salute they leapt into action, and their outer layers soon littered the floor as they tossed them aside in a haphazard fury. Their socks went next, followed by both Henley’s, and it was all Rose could do to keep her composure when she whisked the trousers from their skinny legs—drinking in their lithe forms before setting her sights on their matching briefs.

Boxers, as it so happened—pinstriped boxers—and a cartoon banana emblazoned on the front.  And alright, so this wasn’t the first time she’d been leered at by a bulbous yellow life form, but the resultant spike in Rose’s arousal was such a polar opposite to that of the encounter on V’lonis-5 that the blonde exhaled sharply—knowing the ruse was up when her lovers’ nostrils flared in response.

“Your turn, Rose Tyler,” the Time Lord said, dropping to his knees before her. “Now, I’m as fond of nudity as the next man—”

“—which is lucky ‘cause the next man is me.”

“But here, it seems, we’ve a certain disparity—“

“—and you...” her second Doctor told her, “...are at a _distinct_ advantage.”

All at once, their eyes turned smouldering, and needing no further encouragement Rose shimmied out of her pale blue sundress, leaving her clad in nought but the 51st century knickers she’d picked up on Titus-Prime. 

“Oh, Rose...” the Time Lord said reverently. “You look...” 

His counterpart cleared his throat. “I believe the word you're searching for is _blimey_ ,” he whispered, equally enamoured by the sight before him. “You’re beautiful, Rose... Truly beautiful.”

“For a human?”

“For a _goddess,”_ his previous-self replied, drawing her down to the mattress.  “Don’t hold back, our lovely Fortuna, we want to hear you—”

“—feel you.”

“Watch you lose control.”

That sultry tone went straight to her core, and Rose swallowed hard as she shivered in anticipation. “Who are you? And what’ve you done with those Time Lord sensitivities?” she asked, eliciting a chuckle from the man above her.

“Let’s just say I’m redefining my comfort zone,” he murmured, lips cool against her skin. “And besides, I may have underestimated our abilities in this particular... uh.... area? Arena?” A series of nips then descended towards her stomach. “Not that I usually doubt my prowess in, _well..._ anything,” he said, moulding her arse through the silky fabric. “But you, Rose... you’re awfully alluring.”

“Brilliantly beguiling,” continued the other, bracing himself on a forearm. “Curiously uh... courageous? Pulling back, he released her nipple with a garish _pop._  “Demonstrably deviant?” The metacrisis cringed. “Still, there’s a fine line between praise and insult.”

“But of course...” she said, as a light breeze tickled her thighs. “And why change the habit of a— _Oh_!” Without warning, her underwear slipped from her ankles, and Rose’s head whipped into the pillows as the Time Lord swept a finger along her sex. “Doctor...”

“Ooh, that’s nice,” he said, sinking two digits inside her. “Very nice, in fact. The way you say my name—all high-pitched and breathless? A man could get used to that, Rose Tyler.”

“Positively obsessed,” murmured the other, his own fingers now swirling around her naval. “Funny thing, obsession—it twists the brain. Makes you focus on such things you really shouldn’t—naughty little notions that poke, and prod, and provoke until you just have to know the answer. Even if it’s wrong,” he told her. “Even if it’s forbidden. Even when you’re left with that one burning question in your mind—“

“—eight little words that’ll follow you for years.”

“Haunting your nightmares...”

“...Or maybe your dreams,” the Time Lord said, his thumb flicking her responsive bundle of nerves. “And do you know what that question is, Rose?”

“The first question? The oldest question?”

“The question I can finally have answered because it’s right here, right now, in front of me?”

The other’s tongue curled slickly behind his teeth. “Do you _taste_ as good as you _smell?”_ he whispered, and all hopes for coherence were lost as the Doctor wrapped her legs around his neck, grunting out his pleasure whilst lapping at her tingling flesh.

“Oh my God...” Again and again the sensations sent her reeling. “Oh... Oh god...”

“Not bloody likely,” her second Doctor murmured, his voice her anchor in this maelstrom of indulgence. “Though far be it for me to discourage this _particular_ form of worship...”

“Wanker.”

His eyebrows waggled suggestively. “Not anymore.”

And then it happened. She couldn’t understand it—couldn’t predict it. Hell, she couldn’t even try.  Lick after lick—high after glorious high—a foreign pressure took root within her, and with the Time Lord’s mouth now fastened around her clit, it was only a matter of seconds before she exploded in rapture—liquid fire racing through her veins as she bucked and shuddered, ensnared by a madness of each man’s design.

“T-that... You....” Rose panted heavily as the room swam into focus.  “Oh wow,” she began, eyelids fluttering. “I think I saw stars.”

“Now there’s an idea,” the Doctor said, wiping the wetness from his chin. “You, _me,_ a mountaintop for three. I dare say I’ve found a new talent.”

“Better than the spoons, eh?”

“And much more satisfying,” he agreed, seeking his other-self’s gaze. “Hungry?”

“ _Starved_.”

Then before she knew it they’d met in the middle, proving her dreams to be no match for reality as their mouths fused together in an overt display. This was more than just a kiss—it was a promise. A sanction. A culmination of all that remained unsaid. It was everything, and it was hers. At long last it was hers, and Rose sent a silent prayer to whoever’d blessed them with an oral fixation when a garbled moan tumbled from the Time Lord’s throat—her thoughts veering in a gutter-like direction when he clutched at the other man’s shoulder, his free hand embroiled in his hair as they finally pulled apart.

“Yep...” her original Doctor croaked,

“...still got it...” finished the other.

Each of them seemed similarly affected, and Rose felt like a witness to something sacred as the pair breathed in deeply, foreheads resting together in this, the most intimate of gestures. “Well...”

“Hmm...”

The blonde’s eyes danced with mischief. “That was different.”

“Good different or bad different?” her newest Doctor asked.

And the Time Lord actually giggled as he matched them grin-for-grin. “Good different... _definitely_ good different.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yes!” he exclaimed. “And a little bit delicious if I do say so myself. Still...” Somewhat recovered, he turned to face her. “Moving on, eh? ’Cause in all my years of Time and Space, _you,_ Rose Tyler—Dame of the Powell Estate—Dedicated Defender of Troublesome Time Lord’s—are the best thing to cross these taste buds in— _well_ …”

The other man shrugged. “ _Forever_ , really,” he said, inching his way towards her. “You’re better than a Bacchanite vintage, you are. Sweet... tart...”

“Who you calling a tart?” she gasped playfully, yet no sooner had she done so was she shrieking in delight—her tongue bursting forth with their mingled flavours  as they each took turns in kissing her too. Patience was discarded to unlock her body’s secrets, and the sheer extravagance brought tears to Rose’s eyes as her fingers found their waistbands—a hiss escaping unbidden when her thighs brushed the irrefutable evidence of their desire.

It’d been an anxious three weeks since their reunion—dark, uncertain days spent steeped in redefined boundaries and more cold showers than the trio would care to mention. That they’d refrained until now had been an act of necessity, but with their actions growing desperate as they sought the perfect angle, it soon became apparent that they couldn’t— _wouldn’t_ —wait a minute longer.             

“Please,” Rose murmured, not ashamed to beg as she squeezed each man through his boxers. “Off...”

 “...Off?”

_"Naked.”_

 “Oh!” The Time Lord bucked his hips, her words finally penetrating the fog of his arousal. “Naked! Yes! Naked is good... naked is— _Rose!”_

Their companion smiled coyly as she bunched the material down their legs, but any attempt at nonchalant disappeared with her first unhindered view of their masculinity. Long and thick, both cocks were swollen in need, and as Rose’s mouth watered at the thought of swallowing them down, she spared a passing whimsy as to whether the Tardis was the only thing _bigger on the inside_. Truly, those suits were a bastion of pinstriped engineering, and judging by the smirks now curving their lips, it was blindingly apparent that her lovers believed so too.

“Enjoying the sights, Rose Tyler?”

And smug gits, at that.

There was really nothing for it but to take them both in hand, and forming a tight circle she proceeded to stroke them slowly—her thumbs tracing the thick veins on the undersides then following them to the tips—curling, sliding, delighting in their full body tremors  as she transitioned to  a comfortable pace.

_Well,_ comfortable for _her_ , at any rate, and the Doctors’ gaze betrayed their vulnerability when she abandoned their shafts to palm the softness beneath.  “You both look normal,” she said, studying them intently. “I mean... _normal’s_ relative, yeah? But I always figured you’d be... I don’t know... sort of—”

“—alien?”

“Shut up!” Raising her face, she glanced up impishly. “How was I to know what you were hiding, eh? Could’ve been tentacles or all sorts.”

“Nah...” The Time Lord chuckled as he kicked his underwear to the floor.  “Nature favours its templates, Rose Tyler, and you lot are compatible all over the galaxy.”

“Lucky me, eh?”

“L-lucky us,” murmured the other, discarding with his own. “You’re not, uh... disappointed? That we’re not... you know—”

“Are you serious?”

His twin exhaled sharply. “You know I’m not human,” he said, sweeping the hair from her eyes. “Neither’s he—not really—and those rules? Rubbish as they were? Well...” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Rule number one _—“_

“No wandering off?”

The Time Lord shook his head. “No getting attached,” he began as she resumed her ministrations. “No getting involved—certainly not with companions. It was set in stone,” he told her. “Quite literally in fact—had a nice little plaque to prove it. Still—” He shifted restlessly. “I’m babbling, aren’t I? Not good, that—the babbling, I mean! Not the uh... hands... Oh, no, Rose, the hands... the hands are very... uh...” He choked out a sigh. “...very... _human.”_

“Human?”

“Exactly!” said the other as he fought to keep control. “And the thing is, Rose, the thing it all boils down to—”

“—the bottom line, if you will.”

“The nuts and bolts.”

“The nitty-gritty!”

“The meat and two veg!” Her second Doctor grimaced as she moved in closer. “A phrase I've never used before, and hopefully never will again. Now, as I was—Oi!” He pointed accusingly. “Enough with the giggles, Rose Tyler! We’re supposed to be the rude ones, here.”

“Oh yes?” The blonde nodded accordingly. “Rude and not ginger, but clearly deluded. That’s you, alright...”

“Well I never—“

“Clearly,” she murmured, dropping a kiss to their bellies. “’Cause I’m no expert on human evolution, but if _my lot_ ever progressed to _well_ … _that_...” She grinned cheekily. “...then trust me... even Jack’d be harbouring an inferiority complex.”

Both Doctors smiled as they clenched the rumpled sheets. “Is that a fact?”

“Absolutely,” she said, floored by this rare show of reticence. “Once a day, most likely...”

“...and _twice_ on Sundays?” the metacrisis laughed, moaning throatily when she took him inside her mouth. “The Captain’s never been backwards in coming forwards... not that the laws of motion ever stop him...”

“Talk about blowing your _own_ horn,” the Time Lord muttered, and with his hips rocking gently Rose heeded the tacit request, alternating between tongue and fingers as she manipulated their lengths—pumping with her fist, timing their shallow thrusts—determined to keep them in her thrall.

It was remarkable, really, that _she_ of all people could reduce such powerful beings to whimpers, and upping her game Rose rested their cocks on their stomachs—her attention drifting southwards as she sought the smooth patch of skin behind their balls.

”Right then,” she began, giving their bums a brazen squeeze. “Cards on the table, mister, ‘cause if there’s anything else I should know—”

“—there isn’t,” her newest Doctor replied, his rumbles of ecstasy spurring her onwards. “Or... well... I hope there isn’t. You know we’re telepathic—“

“—you’ve _seen_ we’re compatible.”

“And the rest is pretty obvious,” the Time Lord said, as she chased a bead of moisture from his tip. “Getting more obvious by the second, as it happens, but still... you... uh...” He swallowed hastily “...you know it’s been a while.”

Sharp nails raked over their torsos. “Define a while?” Rose asked, circling the dusky nipples before stroking down their arms. “We talkin’ months? Years?”

“Bodies.”

“ _Several_ bodies.”

“And even then, it was more of a— _Oh! Experiment!”_ her original Doctor explained, clenching his jaw whilst she sucked a bruise into his thigh. “Bit of an accident, really. One minute you’re bartering for some top-notch Thermocouplings—”

“—and the next you’ve stumbled upon the great sexual revolution of Aloris Prime,” continued his twin as she branded him in turn. “Still, I’ve always been a rebel.”

“Leather jacket and all?”

The Time Lord sniffed haughtily. “Got us here, didn’t it?”

“It did,” she agreed, biting her bottom lip as they guided her back to the mattress. “But I hope you’ve done your homework, Doctor, ‘cause honestly? I’ve no ideahow’re we supposed to actually... uh...”

“Ride the skin bus to happy town?” The Metacrisis winced. “Sorry,” he cried, waving frantically. “Not my fault!”

Rose barked a laugh. “Watch it, _Earth Boy_.”

“Oh, I intend to,” he replied, calves brushing the soles of her feet when she lay down to face him. “But as for the rest?” he promised. “Well that’s up to you, isn’t it?”

“Me?”

“Your wish is our command,” her first Doctor said, settling himself behind her. “You can have anything you want, Rose Tyler. Absolutely anything.”

“Or you can have _everything.”_

“Everything?” Adrenaline made her brave as they rocked in unison—the movement enough to incite, but not nearly enough to bring completion. “What do you mean... _everything_?”

The man at her front smiled. “We mean _both,”_ he said, sliding a hand to her slick centre. “The two of us—me and him... Well... Me and _me—“_

“—and you of course,” the Time Lord began, nursing his own mark at her throat. “We can’t do this without you, Rose— _Well...”_ He pursed his lips. “I mean we _could—_ of course we _could_. But really? I think that’d be verging on—”

“Masturbation?”

The Doctor scrunched his face. “Freud would have a field day with this one.”

“He would indeed,” the metacrisis said, as she quivered in excitement. “Poor old Sigmund. Thirty years of research and he never did figure it out.”

“Figure _what_ out?” Rose asked, a little dizzy from the back-and-forth.

And her original Doctor smirked as if imparting the world’s greatest secret. “What women want,” he told her, leaning around for a tender kiss.  “Billion dollar industry, that—so many books... a multitude of theories—“

“—that one unfortunate movie that you forced us to watch.”

“Oi!”

“You and your pretty boys,” her second Doctor teased, shaking his head as her own lolled to the side. “So tell me, Rose Tyler, what _do_ you want?”

“I think you know...”

“I think we do, too,” he replied, his cock nudging her slippery folds. “’Cause believe it or not, Rose... those thoughts? The ones you’ve been harbouring?”

“We can see them.”

“Feel them.”

“Practically _taste_ them,” the Time Lord said, guiding her leg to the other man’s hip. “Three little words, Rose, and we’ll make those dreams come true.”

Straightaway, she flashed them an impudent grin. “Better with three?” she asked blithely, and her first Doctor chuckled as he cocooned her in his arms.

“Close enough.”  

“Oh yes!” agreed the other, his erection striking her clit with each successive glide. “After all, the best things come in three, don’t they, Rose Tyler? Just look at the Bronte sisters. The three Amigos! The witches in Macbeth—“

“—not that there are _actual_ witches, you understand—not in the Elizabethan era anyway—still! There’s three piece suits—quarks in a baryon—Pyramids?” The Doctor ticked off his fingers. “Can’t forget those, can we? And chipmunks! Chipmunks, Rose! I’ve always considered myself a Simon—“

“It’s the glasses,” murmured the other, as he _finally_ sheathed himself inside her. “Makes us look smart.”

“You are smart,” she told them, her voice rough with longing when he pulled back slowly and drove home again. “Geniuses, the pair of you.”

“Not in all things,” the man at her back whispered. “Not in regards to the most important _three_ of all. The ones we’ve always feared—the ones we ran from—”

“I don’t...”

“ _Love_ ,” her second Doctor explained, whimpering quietly when her body clenched in retaliation. “It’s love, Rose. That constant battle between emotions and logic. _Eros_ , the Greeks called it. That initial phase—the erotic attraction that if you’re lucky—“

“—very, _very_ lucky...”

“—can form the foundations for a bond that’s even better.”

“Friendship,” the Time Lord continued, pausing to link his hand with hers. “Unselfish—undemanding—and unique! Utterly unique!” he said, smoothing his thumb over her palm. “But the story doesn’t end there, Rose—Oh, no! Because then? _Then_ we reach the rarest love of all. A love that’s unconditional—almost spiritual.”

“Something you can believe in.”

“Something like _you_ , Rose Tyler.”

“Doctor, _please_...” A kittenish mewl escaped her lips as their confession sent her reeling. “Touch me...”

“Already am,” he said, fingers walking the length of her spine before sliding to her folds—gathering her arousal from the source. “We’ll go slow, okay? Just focus on how it feels.”

The words were a balm to her frazzled nerves. “G-good.”

“ _Jus_ t good?”

“Very good!” she growled when he teased her rear entrance. “God, Doctor... don’t stop...”

“We won’t,” promised his twin as he hit that illusive spot inside her.  “You’re like satin, Rose—satin wrapped in sunshine... Warm... and soft... and... _Rose...”_

“Our pink and yellow Rose...”

“Yes...” she agreed, panting in encouragement. “...wanted this...”

“Always...”

“Then why?”

“Coward, remember?”

“Comes with being an idiot,” the other explained, swallowing her gasp as she was stretched to the knuckle. “Just because I had you, didn’t mean I _deserved_ you. And I thought if I protected my hearts—kept that bit of distance....”

 “...then maybe I wouldn’t fall apart when you were... _well...”_

“Gone?”

Both men nodded as one. “A storm was coming,” the Time Lord said, brushing a kiss to the back of her hand. “I knew that we’d be separated, but I didn’t know when—”

“—or how,” continued the other as a second finger joined the first. “I was a fool to deny us, Rose.”

“I pushed you away.”

“Doctor—“

“I lost you,” the man at her back whispered, “and I’ve no intention of doing so again. You’re stuck with us, Rose Tyler.”

“That’s not so bad, eh?”

“Not bad at all,” she said, raking a nail over her second Doctor’s sideburn. “You’ve always had my forever, you know? Only difference is now I’ve got a little more of yours too.”

The man inside her smirked. “Only a little?” he asked, flexing his hips with each measured stroke. “I think you’ll find it’s a _lot.”_

“More than a lot,” the Time Lord continued, tilting her chin to look him in the eyes. “Time loves you, Rose Tyler—both of you—and I’m the jammy sod that gets to reap the benefits. Your life spans have increased significantly, and with the way I go through bodies... _well..._ who knows, eh? You might just see me to the end.” Pausing, he grinned triumphantly. “Maybe I’ll be ginger?”

The other man huffed. “Well that’s just _mean_.”

And Rose vowed to buy him some hair dye should the situation ever arise. Hell, she might’ve even mentioned it if his twin hadn’t chosen that exact moment to nibble at her neck—his fingers retreating to slather his cock and stealing her breath in the process.

“Are you ready?” he asked, carefully positioning his erection, and the tremble in his voice was the only hint to his desperation as she nodded her assent, biting down on her bottom lip when he filled her inch by glorious inch. 

“Doctor...” she moaned, burying her face in the other-him’s chest. “Doctor... I...”  
  
“Relax, sweetheart,” the man at her front whispered, gently working the muscles of her lower back. “We’ve got you... you’re almost there.”

“Oh my god!”

“Rose...” Different, yet identical, their lengths juddered inside her, and the Time Lord hissed through his teeth as his thumb darted to her clit, flicking the swollen bud until she’d adjusted to the foreign sensation. “Oh, Rose...” he murmured, withdrawing slightly and sliding home again. “Rose, you...”

“ _Ungh_...”

“Yes... that!” said the other, stroking her arm as they strained towards completion. “Very... _uh..._ succinct...”

“...specific.”

“Short and—”

“Doctor!” The pair snapped to attention as their companion arched between them. “Just shut up and shag me, yeah?”

“Right! Yes.” The Time Lord clasped her thigh. “Shagging it is then.”

“Allons-y, Rose Tyler!”

And with that, she knew no more.

In and out they alternated their thrusts.

In and out.

Harder.

Faster.

The slick sounds of their joining echoed throughout the bedroom—muttered oaths of both English and Gallifreyan spilling freely as they soon found their rhythm. It was primal in its execution, but the underlying tenderness of their duel penetration was enough to have that invisible coil tightening within her. All three of them were panting—respiratory bypass be damned—and be it raw hunger or false bravado, Rose let loose a sob of relief when both Doctors raised their hands to her temple.

There was no need for clarification, and as the world exploded in a blaze of white light there was nothing left to do but throw open the doors—their minds uniting, their passions entwined—each of them caught in the grip of euphoria as they surrendered to the sweetest liberation of all.

 

The room was in darkness by the time she awoke, but the soft murmurs of her bed mates were an instant solace, and Rose revelled in the unfamiliar ache as she nestled within their arms.  They were still hard, still inside her, yet every muscle in _her_ body seemed stunned into stillness as she struggled to raise her head.

“I take it all back,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to their stubbly cheeks. “You _are_ that impressive.” Each man hummed as they drew her closer, and Rose giggled merrily at their lingering erections. “Talk about a rock and a hard place...”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“I learned from the best.”

“And quite right, too,” the Time Lord said, flashing his dimples. “So what do you say, Rose Tyler? Want to be our naughty nurse?”

“We’ll let you play with our stethoscopes...”

And their companion dug deep to recover her strength as the Tardis sang in approval.


End file.
